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 My RP Sample

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Ara-KuZo
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Number of posts : 9
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-23

PostSubject: My RP Sample   Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:50 am

A glimmer of sunlight was peeking through the hole I was out at last through the tunnel of death. I hear a voice beneath me and I ask myself "What was that?"
The darkness was far stronger than the sunlight so the little sunlight made me feel like the journey wasn't over. I got through the hole and saw what seemed to be a valley to despair. "No...!" I say angry that the journey hasn't ended. Close by was a badger it seemed to know what I was saying so it bit my shoe I look at the badger and then it seemed to go in the direction of the valley so I followed was it the badger or was it a dream or vision it was neither it was the truth of the valley of magic. I saw a mountain in the distence the badger took me further until we couldn't go any further. The dark tunnel reminded me that sometimes the end you see is never the end. The more mountains I saw never seemed to be still like they were moving and speaking in a language humans can't understand. A path leading over the mountain was spotted and the badger and I went onwards again until we reached the top of the mountain it was nice to see something because what was there was a city road it was nice to see cars nd such I thought it was nice to see life.

[If thats enough ok but I dont know how many words there is but I'm needing to go]
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Minato
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Number of posts : 256
Age : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-19

PostSubject: Re: My RP Sample   Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:11 am

Ok well for starters RPs are ment to be done in 3rd person not 1st example from your post.

I got through the hole and saw what seemed to be a valley to despair. "No...!" I say angry that the journey hasn't ended.

Changed to this.

Kuno got through the hole and saw what seemed to be a valley to despair. "No...!" Kuno said angry because the journey hasn't ended.

I had a look at your Character to and you will have a choice between Genin or Academy student, this is because of your age.


Genin rank

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My RP Sample
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